Simple ways for parents to raise a gentleman in today’s modern world.
How to shape your son into a good man who is respectful and kind to others.
My son is the youngest child and our only boy. He has proven to be quite different than his sisters.
He is wild, loveable, brave, and FULL of energy!
I remember spending his toddler years just trying to keep him from breaking a bone with all his rambunctious counter-climbing ways.
As he is growing up, I want to help shape my son into a good man.
With this crazy world we live in, I want my son to be respectful of others and to himself.
We are so lucky as parents that we can shape our children into being good people!
It is imperative that we find ways to raise respectful sons because after all they will be grown men one day and hopefully they will be gentlemen.
Raising a gentleman is simple to do because boys have a natural curiosity about the world and they love with all their hearts.
Even though the nursery rhyme says “boys are made of snips and snails, and puppy dog tails” – there is a little gentleman inside just waiting to emerge.
Using patience, kindness and simple guidance will help shape your son into a good man that you are proud of raising.
Remember, we teach by example.
How To Raise A Boy To Be A Gentleman
Gentlemen Use Good Manners
We all know that we should teach our kids to say “please” and “thank you” but having good manners goes beyond those two phrases.
There are plenty of other good manners we must instill in our little gentlemen.
We should teach boys to hold doors for people. It is a sweet gesture that all gentlemen do.
Another good mannerism that all children should learn is not to interrupt.
When kids are young, they tend to interrupt because they get excited and are impulsive.
As they get older, we need to teach polite communication skills to reduce interruptions.
We have been teaching our son to have some patience and to use the polite phrase “excuse me” before interrupting.
Gentlemen Never Use Foul Language
Boys are notorious for wanting to say taboo things to get our attention.
For instance, when my son was a toddler he went through a phase of belting out the word “poop” followed by loud laughter.
He thought that word was super funny and he knew it got a reaction.
Thankfully, we didn’t make much a big deal out of it and that phase pretty much phased out.
I think most kids get a kick out of potty language or there wouldn’t be so many games that involve the word “poop”; retailers know how to get kids’ attention.
But what about those really bad words that we NEVER want our kids to say.
Boys should be taught that words are powerful and that they should never use foul language.
We must teach our boys that a gentleman never uses bad words.
Boys should know that our words reflect who we are.
Teach kids that using foul language will not make them look older but instead will make them look really immature.
Gentlemen Show Respect
Boys who grow up to be gentlemen always show respect.
Not only do they show respect to others, but they also respect themselves.
One of the best ways to teach boys to be respectful is by showing them respect.
Do your best not to interrupt or dismiss what your little boy has to say.
Let him make choices. Allow him to do things for himself.
By modeling mutual respect, we are teaching our boys to be respectful.
Gentleman Are A Good Sport
Teaching boys good sportsmanship can be hard but it is vitally important.
I think it’s innate in boys to be competitive and to want to win.
There is nothing wrong with being competitive, in fact, it’s a trait that keeps us motivated.
However, we must teach boys to be a good sport, win or lose.
My little boy likes to win. I mean he REALLY likes to win!
It was a little difficult to teach my son how to lose graciously and how not to gloat when he does win.
We taught him to always play fair and that everyone wins AND loses from time to time.
Teach your son to enjoy sports and games for the fun of it because the thrill of victory and the bitterness of loss is only temporary.
Gentlemen Are Honest
Teach kids that honesty is one of the most important qualities they should have.
Let’s be honest with each other, kids will lie for the same reasons adults do – to get out of trouble.
We must teach kids that telling the truth is the right thing to do. It feels good, to tell the truth.
As parents, we are quick to punish kids for not telling the truth, but we must also PRAISE them for telling the truth.
We all know that sometimes telling the truth can be hard.
So when we reward our sons for their honesty it builds self-confidence and lets them know that honesty is always best.
Gentlemen Are Charitable
When raising gentlemen, we must teach boys the value of helping others.
The best way to teach generosity is to model it.
When boys watch their parents be kind and generous to those in need, then they will practice generosity as well.
There are so many ways kids can learn the value of giving.
Create opportunities for your son to give back to the community.
Give your son a bag to collect some old toys and clothes to donate.
Let him pick out a bag of dog food to donate to the animal shelter and walk him around the shelter so he can see all of the dogs he just helped.
Make giving real for him, by letting him see how his generosity benefits others.
Gentlemen Are Kind
The best way to teach children to be kind is by being a kind role-model.
Let your child see you be helpful to your family, friends, and community.
Provide opportunities for your boy to practice kindness.
Print out this Kindness Challenge For Kids and praise his acts of kindness.
Encourage your son to be friendly and not to participate in any type of bullying of others.
Gentlemen Are Accountable
It is so important that we raise children to be accountable.
As adults, taking responsibility for your actions is an important trait to have.
Kids tend to blame others and try to justify their behavior.
A very important lesson I have been teaching all my children is that everyone is responsible for their OWN behavior.
It is important that kids know that mistakes happen (and that we all make mistakes) but THEY are responsible for fixing their mistakes.
We must let our children clean up their own messes.
I know we want everything to work out for our kids, but sometimes we must let them make mistakes so they can see the consequence.
Children need to know that they are accountable for their choices and that all choices have consequences.
Gentlemen Have Empathy
An important attribute of a gentleman is to have an understanding of other’s emotions and be able to show compassion.
One of the best ways to teach boys to have more empathy is to empathize with their feelings.
For some reason, boys are expected to be emotionally tough. That’s just not healthy.
Boys should be able to express their feelings and never be told, “boys don’t cry” because it undermines their feelings.
All humans should be given the right to cry because it releases pint up emotions that help us heal.
When we validate children’s emotions it helps them to learn how to handle them.
Also, it helps them to empathize with other people’s feelings – therefore teaching them empathy.
Gentlemen Have Good Morals
Teaching kids good morals and values are essential in how they develop and who they grow up to be.
There are so many mixed messages in the media that our children will one day be exposed to.
It is our job as parents to teach our kids about their own moral compass.
I want my son to stand up for what is right and do the right thing when given a choice.
Kids should always know the value of consequences for their decisions, good or bad.
When children know right from wrong, they can distinguish the good from the bad in most scenarios.
It will help them to be more secure in who are they are as a person, and less likely to fall into the traps of peer pressure in the future.
Instilling morals in boys will mold them into growing up to be good men – gentlemen.
Even with a boy’s rambunctious ways, it is important as parents to treat your son with the honesty, respect, and kindness that you want him to show others.
When you raise a little gentleman, he will one day have good sportsmanship when his team loses and know when it’s appropriate to speak up for himself and others.
He will be kind and make good choices based on his moral judgment. He will be a good man, that you will be proud of.
We teach by example, so make sure you practice positive parenting every day!
For more helpful tidbits visit the Smart Mom Resources page for tips to make raising kids easier!
Plus, you can sign up for new Mom Hacks to be sent to your inbox monthly.
Let me know in the comments how you are raising your boy to be a gentleman.