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10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child

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10 things you should never say to your child or any child.

These hurtful things parents say are some common phrases that damage kids.


things to never say to your child


When it comes to parenting, communication with your children is key.

On the other hand, that doesn’t mean that all words should be spoken, either.

There are certain things to never say to a child for various different reasons.

Communication is key in regards to building bonds and creating confidence, but it’s just as important to remember that words can have a positive and a negative effect quickly as well.

No matter what is happening at the time or what is going on in your own life that may be causing frustrations, here are some things to never say to a child. 

In fact, some hurtful things parents say are common phrases that can have last consequences.

What Things Parents Say That Hurt Their Child?

Parents often don’t realize that their words can have a lasting impact on their children.

The hurtful things that parents say can stay with the children for years to come.

Parents should always be mindful of what they are saying and how it will affect their children.

When having a conversation with your child, it is crucial that you are careful with what you say to them.

Not only what you say, but how you say it.

Your tone, emotions at the time, and wording are all important when talking to your child.

Although what you are saying might be minor to you, it may be something that sticks in their mind forever.


things to never say to your child 

Things You Should Never Say To Your Child

Words hurt. Words matter. Be careful with your words and remember these things you should never say to your child.

1. “This isn’t anything to cry about.” 

Downplaying your child’s emotions can be a slippery slope.

Tears are a way to let loose feelings and to express what they’re feeling.

Sometimes tears can be happy, but most times, they indicate sadness.

Telling your children that they shouldn’t be crying over something that they find and feel is worthy of tears is basically telling them that they shouldn’t be having emotions that are natural for them to be feeling. 

Instead, comfort them while they’re crying and let them talk about their tears and why they’re having them when they’re ready to talk about them. 

2. “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”

If you didn’t cringe while even reading that phrase, reread it again.

Not only does this make your child feel less positive about who they are as a person, but you’re also creating a division between your children by stating this. 

As a parent, you will notice differences among all the children in your family.

This is because they’re all different.

This isn’t a reason to shame one or make one child feel bad about being different.

Instead, use this as a time to praise them for being different and highlight what makes them unique. 

Even if you’re going through turbulent times as a parent with one of your children, this too shall pass.

Just sit tight, show them love, and be kind with the words that you speak. 

3. “It’s really not a big deal.”

This statement may hold the truth in the fact that it might not be a big deal for you, but if your child is expressing feelings or emotions about something, then it’s very much a big deal for them.

Downplaying it is only going to make them feel more alone in the scenario and ultimately will have them not coming to you for any future issues or needs that they’re trying to work through. 

Simply watch this exclusive FREE training and discover how to respond more positively to your child, which will help them communicate better with you.

4. “You’ll get fat if you keep eating so much.”

This phrase is not only harmful to kids, but it’s actually harmful to everyone of all ages.

Children are growing at a rapid speed and are also quite active.

If your child is hungry, they need to eat and nourish their body. 

Saying that they’re going to gain weight is not only going to give them body issues and a weight complex at a young age, but it’s also going to make them immediately self-conscious as well. 

The easiest way to overcome any worries that you may have as a parent about your child being unhealthy is to simply not put unhealthy foods in the house.

You have the ability to provide delicious and healthy foods for them to eat without having to lecture them about the foods that they’re eating that you bought in the first place. 

Try one of these recipes of healthy treats for kids.

5. “You are being a baby.”

This tells your child that they cannot express their emotions.

It also tells them that you don’t care about their feelings.

You want them to be able to express their emotions, no matter what they may be.


hurtful things parents say


6. “Big boys/girls don’t do that.”

Never use age as an excuse for something you are upset about.

Let children be children and express their feelings.

It tells them that certain things are only for one gender and a certain age.

You want them to know that no matter their age or gender they are important and their emotions are important.

7. “That’s only for boys/girls.”

This makes them feel like there are certain activities or emotions that are only for one gender.

You want your child to be confident in any sport or activity regardless of their gender.

It puts children in a box thinking that there are certain roles based on their gender.

8. “Because I’m the adult and you’re the child”

This approach makes children feel like their feelings, actions, and emotions are invalid because of their age.

Kids are not always going to be rational and understanding of the adult world.

They don’t know how to handle their emotions or understand when they are being hurt.

But what we should do is not tell them that “because I’m the adult, you’re the child” because it just makes them feel like their feelings, actions, and emotions don’t matter.

Studies have shown that kids who are told such phrases are more likely to feel inferior and unimportant.

This is due to the fact that they are often not taken seriously by adults, and it can be harmful to their self-esteem.

9. “I can’t even deal with you.”

This lets them know that you are clearly mad and don’t know what to do.

It also can cause their feelings to be hurt.

It could also mean that they have “won” (as if it were a fight) and they’ve got the best of you.

Another situation where you may need to say, “We will discuss this after some thought is put into it and I’ve calmed down.”

Look into this time-out alternative tips that can help you and your child communicate better during chaotic moments.

10. “You’re too young to think/talk about that.”

By disregarding a child’s curiosity, you encourage them to seek answers elsewhere.

This can be very dangerous and can lead them to incorrect information.

This is a common phrase that parents use when they want to avoid talking about something.

But children can often feel hurt and rejected by the phrase because it makes them feel like their feelings, actions, and emotions are less important than those of an adult.

things to never say to your child


When Parents Say Hurtful Things

While a few examples of negative communication were listed above, keep in mind that there are so many more worst things parents say that could be added to this list.
Anytime that you’re saying something to your childhood that degrades them in any way, this should be enough to give you “pause” and to regroup your thoughts.
Your children are looking up to you at all hours of the day, and this can be a big hat to wear.
When you spout hurtful and negative things to your child, you’re truly teaching them that it’s acceptable to talk to others in that same manner.
Why not use that energy and instead think of ways to make your child feel special?
Instead of saying “I’m mad at you,” why not rephrase it and say, “Let’s talk about how to handle this situation in the future.”
Simply changing the wording not to be accusatory or negative can help your child (and you!) grow emotionally and build a better and stronger bond. 
If you feel you need help then take this free course on positive parenting. 

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